Written by Vicki Stormoen
February and March. It happens every year, no matter how much I mentally try to prepare for it. Every year, right on cue, February and March signal what ends up being my toughest homeschooling months of the school year. It is when I feel totally done with the school year. It is a struggle to keep going, I have lost my momentum, the grading is piling up, we are behind, and I still have a significant number of lessons plans to go to before it is over.
Many moms feel this “third quarter blues.” There are some things I have learned and experienced over the past 27 years of homeschooling that have helped during these desert times. It is my hope that in memorializing what I have learned, I can find (and hopefully impart) renewed encouragement and vision to finish the school year strong.
- A Change of PlaceWe all have our routine when it comes to where and when we homeschool. For me, all one-on-one teaching takes place at my desk in the family room. The kids usually end up doing their independent work in their rooms or on a couch, but anytime school involves me it is done at my desk. But on one of those third quarter mornings as I returned to my bed late in the morning with my second cup of coffee and fuzzy socks, I called my elementary-aged students into my room and announced we would be having a marathon science catch-up session. Yes, we were very behind in science, which I do as a multi-grade subject in elementary school. Everyone, still in pajamas with fuzzy blankets or robes draped around them, clambered onto my bed nestling under the covers, with their science books and notebooks in hand. We read around, with all the able-to-read kids taking a turn, me tackling larger chunks, and the younger ones coloring in their science notebooks and answering questions after each section. We covered a significant chunk of science that day and I also crossed off several days’ worth of reading lesson plans as well. After all, what is the point of reading, but to read and be able to answer and discuss comprehension questions? That is exactly what we did, covering two subjects for the price of one, all while enjoying the comfort of my bed and the change of place. For days after, my kids asked if we could do science in my bed again. And for days, we not only caught up in science, but in reading also, as I continued to use this time to count for two subjects.
- A Change of Routine
It sounds silly, but sometimes just changing up the order in which you do things, or the order of kids in which you homeschool, can bring some newness to your day. I usually start with the youngest student and work my way up. Depending on the child, I usually fall into an unintended rut with the order of subjects we complete together. Sometimes the rut is so subtle, I do not even realize it. But when I sat down with my 2nd grader one day and pulled out math first, he about died. “We NEVER do math first! “ We don’t? I then pulled out all the subjects we do together and told him to set the order. His excitement over that small, insignificant thing changed the whole attitude (his AND mine) for the day. If something that small can make a difference, find other ways to change up the routine. Any added excitement in your students will be infectious and help bust through your own malaise.
- A Change in Perspective
I admit I am at a bit of an advantage here. I have already graduated six of my kids from homeschooling and have the benefit of seeing them out in the real world and seeing how the whole homeschooling-thing (academically) worked out for them. And it turns out, brace yourself, that those last chapters I skipped in science and history in 5th grade is not significantly hindering my eldest’s ability to run her household and be an effective wife and homeschooling mother of eight. And the three-year journey to get through Algebra 1 with one of them, has not stopped her from returning to college after many years in the work force, enabling her to not only support herself but find fulfillment in her calling. And the half-finished Daily Grams books in various years, did not prevent valedictorian college status for others. In other words, not every year has to be perfect. Not every book has to be finished. Not every lesson plan has to completed. Particularly in the elementary years, it is okay to be flexible. You have so much time to work with, and so much life to live, and so many memories to make, and so many un-lesson-planned lessons to teach. We all need to take a step a back and remind ourselves that life is much bigger than the Scope and Sequence. I am not advocating a second-rate education. I am, however, saying do not sacrifice your relationship with your family at the altar of getting through the books. As homeschoolers, it is often a fine line that we do not see we have crossed until they are older and gone. Try to get that perspective now.
- A Change in Priorities
Sometimes the answer is as simple as “no.” There is a tendency in many homeschooling moms to over-commit themselves and then find themselves truly in a position where they simply do not have the time to homeschool their children. It is often gradual, so they do not see it. You cannot homeschool if you are never home. Nor can you homeschool if you are volunteering your time to too many other projects and activities. Homeschooling takes time. When I find myself in these doldrums’ seasons, I can easily and blissfully devote my time to any and everything but the thing that I most want to ignore. A re-commitment to your priorities is essential. Do what you dread most first and then give yourself permission to do everything else. More than ever that principle applies to the third quarter. If I just mentally tell myself that school has to be done before I do anything else, before I respond to any other emails, before I clean anything, before I make that phone call or respond to that text, it motivates me to just do it and get it done. Giving someone else permission to hold you accountable is even more helpful. But within that “homeschool first” priority, you may also want to give yourself a break and focus only on the essentials for a couple months. At the beginning of the school year, I tend to go wild with my expectations and excitement with new resources and curriculum helps. By the third quarter, I am just back to the basics (which varies according to grade level). If you started the year with an exciting, new supplemental resource, your new priority may be to set it aside until the 4th quarter (or forever). Focus on the important things, do those first, and then decide how you really want or need to spend the rest of the day.
- A Change in Attitude
The hardest suggestion is probably the most important. If you are negative, frustrated, and undisciplined with homeschooling, your children will be as well. You cannot expect them to carry on and complete schoolwork with great attitudes if you are not modeling the same. Enter the three F’s: Feelings Follow Form. My husband introduced this concept in our family many, many years ago and it has been a theme of ours ever since. We do not always feel like doing the things we are supposed to do, but we do them because we must (whether out of obedience, submission, necessity, prudence, etc.). It is through the process of doing, that our attitudes begin to change. Do not wait until you feel like enthusiastically homeschooling your kids. Just do it, model the attitude you want your kids to have, pray for a change of heart, and in time the feelings will come. In the meantime, you are teaching your kids what it is like to do things even when we do not feel like it. How do you expect or want them to approach their chores or schoolwork when they do not feel like it? Show them what that looks like!
The third quarter blues are real but keep this in mind: the fourth quarter is coming! You may finish this school year differently from Plan A, but you will finish. Use the HCS community for help, support, guidance, accountability, and as co-laborers in the race. You are not alone. You are not the only one struggling right now. Try a new change in place, routine, perspective, priority, and/or attitude. Any change, however small, may help you limp your way to the fourth quarter.
See you at the finish line!
About the author: Vicki Stormoen has been homeschooling her nine children through Heritage Christian School since 1994. She is currently the Principal of HCS.
